Today in Layne History

Sunday - August 17, 2007

4) Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7) It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.
8) Love never fails. . . . . . . . . .
13) . . . faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8; 13

This passage has always been special to us. I was at a Woman’s retreat at Parchment Valley near Ripley, WV when these verses were one of the topics discussed. This really tells us what love is all about - especially in our everyday lives. A little over a week ago this passage was discussed again - at John’s funeral. I did not know this was one of his favorite. We (the boys and I) grew up believing these things about love by watching our parents as living examples. Several years ago I even wrote a poem to Mom and Dad based on this scripture. I may share it with you all at a later date. Today is very special in the Layne family - it is the date our parents - Elmer J Layne and Relma Irene Whitman became husband and wife - 62 years ago today!! When Dad passed away on December 2, 2005, he and Mom had been married a little over 59 years. Mom always said - “to the same man!” We had a gathering of family and friends for their 50th anniversary. I asked Dad and Mom what they wanted - a nice dinner out at a restaurant or a gathering of family and friends at the house. He chose the house; Mom kind of liked the idea of eating out - all who know and love her knows she loves eating out!!

I would like to share a little family trivia with you about that day and the years leading up to their wedding as told by Dad and Mom through the years.

To begin with, Mom and Dad had known one another for years - her foster sister married Dad’s oldest brother (Aunt Junia and Uncle Son). Dad said they knew each other since he was in diapers - not really sure about that, but we always took Dad at his word! :):) As the years passed by and he would be visiting his older brother, Dad always said Mom would climb up in a pear tree at the corner of the porch where she grew up and watch for him!:):):) He also said she would whistle at him! Needless to say, Mom always said that didn’t happen!!!! Knowing Dad, he might have stretched the truth just a tad bit!

Dad also said the reason they ended up getting married was because after coming home from the war; losing his foot; and not able to run - Mom was able to catch him! Mom would always huff when this story was told! Again, Dad loved stretching the truth. What they both agreed to was that they knew each other for a long time!

When they decided to get married they went to the Logan County Court House to apply for their marriage license. Mom worked at the court house and could have gotten the license that day instead of waiting the mandatory three day wait. They chose not to take advantage of her position at the court house. Mom loves telling the story about when they were completing the paper work. The girl who was waiting on them asked Dad what the “J” stood for in his name. Without blinking an eye and with a straight face, Dad responded “Jesus” and never told the poor girl differently. His middle names is actually James!

On August 17, 1946, Mom and Dad were married. She said she wore a blue dress and a niece and her beau (who ended up becoming her husband) stood with them as their witnesses. They have been married about 60 years - Ruth and Claude Stinson. Ruth is the oldest daughter of Dad’s oldest brother and Mom’s foster sister. It was a long time before I figured out who was really Mom’s sisters and who were her foster sisters. We called them all “Aunt!”

Mom’s biological siblings included two sisters (Aunt Agnes and Aunt Olive) and three brothers (Uncle Tab, Uncle Tommy, and Uncle Bunk). Her foster family (all of whom were actually her first cousins) included one brother (Donald) and ten sisters (Nancy, Lilly, Junia, Florence, Vivian, Lucy, Keller, Ella, Frankie, and Ruby). Donald and Nancy died before we were born - but all the others we knew!

Dad’s siblings were not as complicated in figuring out who was who. He had three brothers (Uncle Son, Uncle Pak, and Uncle Pete). He also had three sisters (Aunt Hammy, Aunt Oma, and Aunt Dean).

I could have written their “official” names down, but we called them by the names I posted - a lot of nick names for most of them. Dad’s nickname was “Buck,” and Mom’s was “Pud.”
Through the years, Mom and Dad’s family grew by four - William A. Layne (September 2, 1947); John P Layne and Phyllis S Layne (January 22, 1950); and Michael D Layne (May 17, 1952). We all have great memories. Their love was patient and kind - sometimes it may not have been as patient as we would have liked because that’s when we would get in trouble! (I always said it was the boys fault - I was always as guilty but I’m not owning up to that with them around!)

This posting is to let Mom (and Dad) know how much they are loved and how much we appreciate what they did for us. The pictures I’m posting will take you through the years with Mom and Dad.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!
“Ditto” John!

Relma Irene Whitman(Mom) and Elmer J Layne(Dad)

Mom and Dad (early 1940's)

Mom's siblings, their spouses and her father - Allen Whitman; Dad, his siblings, and parents - William J Layne and Virginia Belle(Davidson) Layne

Mom and Dad (1946); Mom and Dad (1988)

Mom and Dad: 1970 and 1971

Mom and Dad: 1970 (?) and then after 1991 (Dad's wearing suspenders - after open heart surgery)

Mom and Dad: 1991 and about 1996

Mom and Dad: 1969 and 1996 (and their crew of four!)

Happy News

Thursday - August 14, 2008

Happy News - what a refreshing title. Here of late we have dwelt on our sadness. To begin with, John would not have wanted us to do that - “Now, Sis you know I’m okay and up here with the Lord and Dad.” That is happy news for John when you think about it. So now, we‘re going to share a different type of happy news with all of you - some of you already know - but you didn‘t get to hear the story as to how we found out.

This happy news we have received is that around the end of April we are going to add a “baby” to the Hardin family. No, it’s not Bill and me (nor is it Twink and Angie) - it is none other than Jeni and David.

Two weeks ago David called me while I was at Mom’s. He couldn’t get a hold of his Dad so he called my cell phone - which I use more than the land line! He starts out the conversation in asking how I am and then he says, “What do you and Dad have planned the last of April.” Duhhh - I’m thinking, okay has Bill planned a trip to a ballgame and I don’t know about it? My mind is racing ahead all those months and thinking - no, we have nothing planned. David laughs and says, “Sue, that’s nine months from now, what are you all going to be doing?” It hit me like a bug hitting the windshield - nine months - oh my gosh, nine months - that means there’s a baby on the way! David got the biggest kick out of that! I jumped up and I have no idea what I did or said other than, “Have you told your Dad?” He hadn’t because he couldn’t get a hold of him. So I told him I would have his Dad call him right back. I had just talked to Bill so I knew he was close by his cell phone.

After hanging up the phone, I immediately called Bill. All I said was “Call David, nothing’s wrong, but call him now!” Bill said he suspected something was up, and that he had picked up what David was saying when he asked him what he had planned for the end of April! Sure he did - he couldn’t count that fast!!!! Needless to say we are all ecstatic.

On one of our visits to Hillsdale, Bill was telling Jeni and David what he calls an older man he sees him on the street walking, driving, sitting, etc. He calls them “Pops!” So, David and Jeni asked if that’s what he wants to be called, "Pops", when a grandchild comes along. We all laughed, but then Jeni said if Bill is Pops, does that make me “Mops?” I think not!! :):):) Bill will probably be called “Grand-Dad” (that was what his grandfather was called), and I will probably be called “Mammaw”. Seems like that most grandchildren will call their grandparents by the names that have been used for generations within that family! I just pray that Jeni, the baby (or babies -we tease her it could be twins - Mom loves saying that) and David are all healthy. I know, David's not having the baby, but he still needs to stay healthy!

We got to see Jeni and David last week - bless her heart - morning/afternoon sickness has hit her strong! It was so cute, Dawn was asking me if we had any little ones on the way yet - she didn’t know about the baby. She got excited when she realized she had just discovered news that hadn’t been shared with everyone at that time. There is nothing more precious than the birth a baby! As of right now, my family knows; Jeni’s family knows; David's mother and her family know, but we need to call Bill’s brothers and tell them they are going to be “great-uncles!” His brother John will love that!

Names have been suggested - which will make a very interesting post at a later date! Whatever name Jeni and David come up with will be fine.

This reminds me of Mom and Dad telling us the story behind how they named John and me - this is a happy story so no crying from any of you and especially me!
Mom said she was not prepared for twins. She had always planned on naming a daughter after her mother who had died the day after Mom was born. Mom was actually raised by an aunt and uncle who had eleven children. He mother’s name was Mary Jane - so I could have been a “Mary Jane” instead of a “Phyllis Sue.” When she realized she had twins, she nixed the idea of calling me “Mary Jane” because she couldn’t come up with a boys name that would go with that name. Why do parents think that twins names need to “go together?” Dad always said we could have been called “Jack and Jill,” or even “Salt and Pepper.” He loved teasing us about that.
Just this past week I discovered that Mom’s aunt that raised her said you could name them John and Susan after Mom's grandparents. So thus, John was named “John Philip” and I was named “Phyllis Sue” - a shorter version of the name Susan. Back then - I guess there were no books with a list of baby names! I asked Mom where the Philip and Phyllis came from and she said she thought of it - a little family history here!

We could do a name check on Bill’s name, but we may start the Hatfield-McCoy feud all over again!! No thanks - we’ll leave well enough alone for now!!

The parents to be - yes Molly you are their # 1 child!!!!

Too young to be "Pops", "Mops", and a father???? Oh my goodness - look at those glasses! Yep - that's Little Foot grinning from ear to ear! (On David's lap) :):):)

Looking to the right - does that look like a Jack and Jill, or a Salt and Pepper? John is probably telling me a tall tale!!! "Ditto John!"

A letter to John

Wednesday - August 13, 2008

How do I begin? There is so much going on in my mind that I feel as if my head is going to explode! Happy news - Sad news - all jumbled in there together. I feel guilty for being glad because of the good news, and then the tears start flowing because I shouldn’t be happy. I lost a part of me a week ago. How can that be? It was God’s will, and I have to accept that it was time for John to go Home. Since John’s death on August 5, I have been writing into a notebook my thoughts, memories, and hopes about John and the family. Today I feel I want to share some of those thoughts with you.

The is part of a letter I wrote to John on August 8 - the day of his funeral. Mom and I were at the motel - she went to bed before 9:00 (she was so tired), so I sat there with pen in hand.

Dear John,
Where do I begin? We were together for the eight months Mom carried us in her womb. Remember, we were a month early - must have been your fault since you were the first one born - four minutes earlier than me! But then again, I guess you would say it was my fault since I was behind you pushing you out of my way!
Today your Pastor said something I hadn’t really thought about - God not only knew the date of our deaths, but He was the one who gave us our birth dates! He chose January 22, 1950 as the date the “twins” were born into the Layne family. That date will never be the same for me. It was a game for us to see who would call the other first. Most years you won! I will miss that call and hear you say “Happy birthday Sis.” This year’s birthday card is still beside my chair in my “teacher” organizer.
It hurts so much that you have left all of us here, but I am so glad that you are able to be with Dad. I know he is so happy. You are there with the rest of the family and having a wonderful reunion. I can’t understand why God had you go home first, but I have to accept it. Please don’t be mad if it takes me a while to accept it. I know Dink and Mike are feeling the same loss as I am in losing a brother. Mom is so sad - but she is dealing with your leaving better than me. She knows you are with Dad.
The loss your precious Laurie, Dawn, JD, and Lindsay feel is indescribable. Brian, Darcie, and Nate feel their pain and miss you as well. Those gorgeous grandchildren will miss you, but you will be kept alive in their minds through pictures and “Pappaw” stories. You always did have a way to get us to laugh - intentional or not - but the laughter was because we love you. Some day I may put together as many “John” stories as I can so that your legacy will never be lost. We might have a complete novel if I can get stories from all your friends and the rest of the family!
The outpouring support from your friends was wonderful to see. For over two hours we saw them pass through to offer their support and to pay their respects. Laurie and the kids will be looked after by the many friends you have made in the 36 years you had been up North. I will also make sure we all stay in contact - life has a way of getting in our way, and we don’t seem to have time for the ones we take for granted. You have such a wonderful family, and they will be okay because you taught them how to survive - just as Dad and Mom taught us.
Even though you lived away from us - we always had contact with you. Those daily phone calls started Mom’s day off. She loves hearing from her kids! Even those of us living close by, she loves the phone calls. I always get a run-down of which one of you boys called and the conversation she had with you.
John, you lived your life to the fullest - doing what you wanted and enjoying every moment of it. Even when you had some low points in your life - you never let it keep you down. You relied on God, and He helped you over those bumps in the road of life. With all the pain you had from your back and knees, you never stopped. You remind me so much of Dad - he taught us all that you never let anything stop you from doing what you wanted. I see him in Dink and Mike as well as I did you. Dad would be so proud of all three of you! . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dink, Mike, and I have lost a very dear brother. We are all so sad and miss you more than words would ever be able to say. We all have a another hole in our lives when you left us. Mom, Laurie, the kids, and the rest of us have lost a part of our being. We all know you are up there looking down at us. Another star in the sky was placed in heaven on August 5; a star that will twinkle at us when we look for it, and we will imagine we hear your laughter when the wind blows. My dear brother, I will always miss you but NEVER forget you.

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This was not the whole letter, but only a portion of it. It has helped to write my feelings down - tears still flowing. But the realization that John has gone Home is starting to sink inside my head. To all who have lost a loved one recently - we all know your pain.

The good news I will share later - a hint in that it concerns Jeni and David! Whatever you are thinking just may be the correct good news!

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The following two pictures were taken at Bobby's wedding - it shows John's character - he sees Mike aggravating me, so what does he do - the same thing! Dink was acting dignified since he was all dressed up!

Harley

One of our past post referred to four of my buddies - Harley, Toby, Speedy, and Molly. Now Molly, I don't want you to be upset because you are named last, but you are the youngest! The day before we left to go North to be with John's family, Billy had to make a decision about Harley. He was suffering so much; he couldn't get up by himself; and he was shivering with pain. Harley passed from this world on August 6 peacefully with Billy's arms surrounding him and Rhonda and Dink close by. Harley was a good friend to Billy, and he was Mom's protector during his stay there with her. Harley was laid to rest close to "Old Dan", the horse from Billy and Bobby's youth. It was a special place on the farm. Harley, this post is just for you. I know you are laying at John's feet. He loved you as much as did the rest of us.

John is now on the Other Side with Dad

A few days ago we posted a blog about blessings and how thankful we were that my twin brother's family was going to be okay after a car accident. Little did we know that within a week, my precious brother John would leave us to be in the arms of Jesus. He suddenly passed away on August 5, 2008. John was the one we loved to tease and who always had a solution for anything broken (cars, doors, toilets, windows), you name it and he had a way to fix it - for how long would be anyone's guess. He was and is loved by all who knew him - as was evident by the large number of friends who came to pay their last respects and to give support to Laurie and the kids. I could write a book about John - maybe someday I will when the tears stop flowing. I want to share a poem with you that was posted on the guestbook from John's obituary. It sums up how I feel and I'm sure the rest of the family.


The moment you died,
My heart split into,
The one side filled with memories
The other died with you
I often lie awake at night,
While the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane
With tears upon my cheek
Remembering is so easy
I do it every day
But missing you is a heartache
That never goes away!


John will be missed by so many - especially his family. We love you John and know that you are having a wonderful time because you are now with God to whom you always gave your love and trust to as well as with Dad.


I'm going to post a few pictures of John through the years - some of these were going to be part of a Christmas present for Dawn, JD, Lindsay, and Laurie. Here's a preview of what I will be sharing with you. All my love to Laurie, Dawn, JD, Lindsay Ann, Mom, Dink, and Mike.

This posting was extremely hard to do - but it is a way of healing and a way for me to accept that John has gone Home! John enjoyed life, family, friends, and most importantly he believed in God's word. He knew where his home would be when he left this world to go to the other side! John, I love you and a part of me is now missing. Someday, we will all be together again when it is in God's plan.