"How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?"

Tuesday - June 30, 2009

When in Lexington a couple of weeks ago, we went to the Joseph Beth Bookstore. This is the bookstore of all bookstores. Huge would be mild when describing it. We browsed around the two floors of the store for over three hours. Ahhh, what we could have come with but didn’t. Hmmmm, maybe another trip to Lexington!

One of my purchases was a cd by Patty Loveless - “16 Biggest Hits." Most of the songs on the cd are ones I remember when "country" was the music I really listened too. I really love most types of music, but there was a time when country - traditional country that is - was my favorite. I have since broadened my favorites and don't listen to just one type. If anyone were to come and look through our cd's and records, one would wonder what type of music we really like. Not only do we have country cd's, but we also have classical, blues, rock, Christian, Celtic, and the list could go on and on! Depending on my "mood" will depend on what I will listen to. On my IPod I have them classified as "The Boys," The Girls," Gospel, Celtic, "Crying Songs," and variety! I even have nature sounds. Ohhh, the sound of the ocean hitting the beach – so relaxing!

On my way to Mom's today I decided to listen to the Patty Loveless cd - the last few days Bill and I had listened to "Chicago" and "The Moody Blues." Seemed like it was time for my ears to listen to a little country! :):) Song #5's chorus caught my attention. It started me thinking back at how many times I've said good-bye.

How can I help you
To say goodbye?
It's okay to hurt,
And it's okay to cry.

The song starts out talking about a little girl whose best friend was moving. Her mother tries to help - she hugs her and tells her it’s okay to cry. Have you ever had to say goodbye to a dear friend because of a move, or maybe because they were taken from this world at a young age? Either way, it causes pain and loneliness.

Another part of the song talks about the daughter's marriage breaking up. Again, pain, loneliness, and reflection on what could I have done differently to have not have the marriage be dissolved. Whether it's a daughter or son who has or is going through this, a mother's arms surrounds her child to comfort them.

The final verse refers to the mother leaving. Her time here on earth is over - the tears started flowing as I was driving towards my mother's house. Someday, this will be me. My mother has been so strong with all that has happened especially the last four years. We lost Dad in 2005; she had a stroke and heart attack a year later; John passed away in 2008; and most recently she lost two sisters, and Dink had a stroke and heart attack. One wonders sometimes how she can handle all this. God never puts more on our shoulders than we can bear. Mom has really broad shoulders.

Sittin' with Momma, alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, "I have to go now. My time here is over.”
And with her final words she tried to help me understand
Momma whispered softly, "Time will ease your pain.
Life's about changin,nothin' ever stays the same."

Life is about changes. Whether we like it or not, things do not and will not stay the same. My world felt as if it were coming to an end when Dad died. I loved him so much – he was the best father anyone could have asked for – he loved his family, friends, life, and most importantly Jesus Christ. Mom told Dad it was okay to go Home. One day she would join him, but for now she will stay and be there for their four children and eight grandchildren. Dad left this world peacefully, knowing Mom would be okay and that someday they would be together again!

I know there are many out there who has lost some one – by them moving away, separating, or by going to their Heavenly home – but try and remember it is “okay to cry, and time will ease the pain.” Time has eased the pain – it’s still there, the pain of losing not only Dad, but my twin John. There are days when all seems to be great, and then there are days when a song will cause the pain to resurface just like this song did for me! The tears I shed are just as heavy as the day that Dad and John died. I know that one day I will be able to see them again!

Remember: “ Life's about changin, nothin' ever stays the same."

"It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry!"

I started the post last night, but didn't (couldn't) finish it until today. Some ask why write something that's going to make you cry? I fill it as a means of therapy, writing down my feelings so that I will not hold it inside. Sharing my thoughts and what I have or am going through may help some else realize they are not and have not been the only one to go through life with out "saying goodbye." We all need to remember that when this happens we are never alone - just like the footprints in the sand - those footprints can be seen on the grass, sidewalk, and in the house if we look closely enough!

Thank you Patty Loveless for a song that reminds us "it's okay to cry!"

Family Reunion

Monday - June 29, 2009

Family reunions have been on going in our family for a long time. When my father's parents were still living, we would all gather together at the home place (the head of Lick Creek in Wayne County) on the Sunday closest to my grandfather's birthday - August 11. Some might ask why go with Pappaw's birthday and not Mammaw's - the reason was that her birthday was March 31 - a little too cold for an outside family gathering!! Besides, many members of the family could take their vacations around that time and come to WV. My grandparents' seven children, their spouses, children, and grandchildren all gathered together bringing covered dishes (all home-made) for a day of catching-up with what had happened to everyone over the course of a year!

This particular reunion I remember well - I was sent up to Mammaw and Pappaw's to help my aunts get the house ready for company!!! Boy, did they have my hands in hot soapy water - cleaning anything that needed cleaning!! It was tough when you are a kid and had to help, but now they are really fond memories. When I really think back, I had a blast with my aunts!

The Whitman's - Mom's father's side also had family reunions as well! This reunion was in the middle of July. Granny Polly's children - she was the aunt that raised Mom - would gather together at the home place on Crooked Creek in Logan County, WV. Granny had eleven children and Mom made number 12!!! Sadly, two of those twelve had already passed away. We had a great time with our Logan county family as we did with our Wayne County family.

Mom's mother's maiden name was Fowler. They were also from Logan County. Most of them were born and raised in Chapmanville. I remember as a kid, we would stop and see Aunt Ette, Abby, Joe, Patty, and Ted. Some of the older girls - Jake, Madge, and Dianah would come and visit us in Huntington. I knew they were relatives, but I wasn't sure how we were related. I was older when I was able to figure out the family tree and which branch the Fowler side was connected. Aunt Ette and Abby have passed away, but Abby's children are trying to keep the Fowler reunion going. They always call and remind Mom when and where it will be so she can attend.

Mom is the last of her generation on the Fowler side of the family. It was so sad this year because Mom's sister, Aunt Olive had passed away in February, and one of the next generation of Fowlers had lost her husband last fall. Both were at the reunion last year. I looked around at those attending, and I am closing in on being the "older" generation. Mike and I wanted to make sure Mom got to go, so he cleaned up the van and we piled her, Meghan, Grant, and ourselves in for a curvy ride to Chapmanville! Bill didn't go, not because he wasn't invited, he wanted to stay home and go get a haircut and possibly mow the grass. We had plans to meet friends in Charleston and to have to car serviced on Monday and Tuesday!

Following are some pictures from our family gathering on Fowlers Branch in Chapmanville, WV.

The yellow house is where the "Fowler children" of today were born and raised. This was where we would visit Abby and her children. I remember playing under the big tree when I was younger! I caught Mom off guard! :) The house in the background right behind Mom's head is where my Uncle Tommy lived - he was Mom's middle brother.
Mom got so many hugs Saturday. They were all so glad she could make the trip. At 89, she was the oldest one there. Hugging her is Joe Fowler, the youngest child of Abbey Fowler.

Standing beside Mom are two more of the Fowler children, Jake and Bo (I just know them by their nicknames!!) :):) Joe is standing beside Mike.

To help take care of the family cemetery, which is on the hill behind the house, they have an auction. The gentleman on the right was the auctioneer - his father was one of those who had passed away during the past year, so he was filling in - as hard as it had to have been for him, he did a fantastic job!

Even though Mom couldn't see what was being auctioned, she was into the process!! She loved hearing the auctioneer and his buddy - even though she didn't bid on anything, she came away with a few of the prizes!

NO,this was not one of the prizes, but it was a hit at the reunion. This car belongs to our cousin Joe - a 1958 Corvette!!!!

I just had to get behind the wheel and dream!!!!!

Sadly, as the years come and go, we see that at each gathering we have lost some who were there the year before. The one thing we know for sure is that there will be a big reunion one day and regardless of what side of the family your are from, we will all be one family - the Family of God! Hopefully, those of you who have an opportunity to attend a family gathering will do so and cherish the moments for years to come!

Grandpa Russell, Pappaw Clyde, Pappaw Buck - WW II Veterans

Wednesday - June 24, 2009

This particular blog is dedicated to the latest WW II veteran who has gone home to be with the Lord. Riley Russell is Jeni's grandfather, her mother Carol's father. He went Home Monday and will be missed so much by his family and friends.

David found out on one of his first visits to Jeni and her family that Jeni’s Grandpa Russell was a member of the 10th Armored as was his Pappaw Clyde. Grandpa passed away Monday and has not only joined our Heavenly Father and his heavenly family, but he has also joined many members of the armed forces that have fought for our freedom. Grandpa loved his Lord, his family, friends, and his country. Grandpa is one of the reasons I’m writing this particular blog. He, along with Dad, Clyde, and all the other WW II veterans sacrificed so much to ensure our freedoms – one of which allows us to write blogs. All veterans (regardless of which war they were part of) and active members have and are scarificing much for what they sincerely believe in - freedom!

Grandpa Russell at Cora's baby dedication. Notice his tie! A proud American, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather - May 24, 2009.

Grandpa at Cora's picnic.

The last couple of days I have been thinking about our WWII veterans. Bill’s father and my father both served in WWII and have already joined many of their comrades. Jeni’s grandfather – Riley Russell – joined them Monday morning. I hadn’t thought about how many WWII veterans are still living until Bill had written a comment to David – “Another World War II veteran gone. It is so sad.” It got me to thinking about how many of our WWII veterans are passing away.

I actually was curious enough to do some research via the computer. The sites I checked out could tell us exactly how many, their names, and where they lived of the remaining WWI veterans. The latest statistics I found said there were only six left: two in Australia, two in the UK, and two in the United States – all were approximately 108 years old.

However, when I tried to find an exact number for the WWII veterans the statistics were not that easy to locate. According to the latest posting by the US Department of Veteran Affairs, there are 3.5 million surviving WWII worldwide. They did not have it broken down as they did for WWI. I’m sure had I chose to do more intensive research, I would have located the statistics I was looking for to use in this posting.

Bill’s father was a member of the 10th Armored Division. Clyde was part of the “Battle of the Bulge.” December 22-26, 1944 was a very scary time for Clyde and the men he was with – they were surrounded by the Germans and had no idea if they were going to get out alive. Not only did they have to deal with the being the enemy, but they also had to deal with the elements of the weather and the lack of food supplies.

Pappaw Clyde and a little buddy! We think this was a picture of Clyde at his home place - notice the fence in the background - looks like a WV fence! :)

Pappaw Clyde and some of his Army buddies! Clyde is the one sitting in the middle.

On June 6, 2009, I thought about Dad. It wasn’t until 1999 that he told us the boat he was on was to have been one of the first ones to land on Normandy Beach June 6, 1944. For some reason, the boat he was on got out of line (some said due to mechanical problems). Dad and the 2nd Armored Division landed along Omaha Blue sector of Normandy beaches. Had Dad landed the day he was scheduled to – history for the Layne family would be a lot different than it is today! He did tell us that by the time he got ashore, the beaches had been cleaned up. This knowledge that Dad could have been one of those soldiers who landed first is one of the reasons I haven't seen the movie "Saving Private Ryan." My dad could have been one who didn't come home alive!

Dad and his buddy - Cecil - entered the service at the same time, went through boot camp together, but were not together when they went overseas!

Dad (in the middle) and some of his buddies in a "fox hole."

Most of the WW II veterans did not share everything they went through during the war. It was something they only shared with their comrades. Only those men and women who were part of this war to ensure that their family and friends would be living in a country that was free knew what is was like to be part of this event in our country's history. WW II veterans were proud to do their part for their country. Sadly, we are losing these veterans every day. Grandpa is the latest one that we were privileged in knowing and who has left his earthly home. It has brought back the memories of when we both lost our fathers, and even though they didn't discuss their experiences, we knew they were proud to serve their country.

We do know that these “old soldiers” are now in a far better place. They are rejoicing with one another and our heavenly Father. I pray they know how much they are loved and will be missed. I also pray they know how much we appreciate their sacrifices to ensure the freedoms we all have today. I also hope that future generations understand what they did for them as well.

To all veterans and active members of the Armed Forces - thank you!!!!!

A Father's Influence - Happy Father's Day

Sunday - June 21, 2009


Hope all the fathers out there have had a great day! I started thinking about the fathers in our family - those still with us and those who have gone on Home to be with our Heavenly family.


The first two men I loved better than anything was Dad and Pappaw Layne. My grandparents lived in the house behind ours during the winter months and on Lick Creek during the spring, summer, and fall until they could no longer take care of the garden the way they use to when raising their family. I believe my brothers became the great fathers they are because of our father and grandfather. They learned by example!


Bill had great examples as well. His dad's father had already passed away before Bill was born, but he had his Grand-dad McCoy, his mother's father. Bill spent many of his summers in Inez, KY with his grandparents. Bill's Uncle Mack lived with them for many years until he moved into a Highrise in Williamson. Uncle Mack had a big influence on Bill, as well as his brothers. Bill's father was a hard worker and worked long hours. His work ethics filtered down to Bill and Twink. You have to work hard and provide for your family.


The following pictures are a tribute to just some of the men whom I think are great Dad's.

My Pappaw Layne holding Mike with Dink, myself, and, John standing close. We loved him sooooo much! He was a great father and grandfather.
Pappaw and Mammaw with Uncle Pak, Uncle Pete, Aunt Hammy, Dad, Aunt Oma, Uncle Son, and Aunt Dean. (Yes, my aunt and uncles all had nick names!)

This is how I remember my grandfather! This was taken the summer before his passed away - summer of 1969!

My father and grandfather sitting under the willow tree below the home place. Behind them is the crib we loved to go snooping - we found all kinds of treasures!

Dad with his three boys who eventually became great fathers!

One of my favorite pictures of Dad and Mom - Nags Head!! Love the black and white version.

My Dad and Dink - the first lesson Dad taught us - show your love!!!!

Dink with his precious family - he was and is not afraid to show his love for his family!

The latest picture of Dink - even though he is recovering from a massive stroke, he still lets the boys and the rest of us he loves us all! We all love you Dink and think you are a great father, husband, brother, son, and uncle!

This is the first Father's Day John's family will be having without him! Here is a picture of John, Laurie, Dawn, JD, and Lindsay on January 22, 1989. This was mine and John's birthday! I miss you John and you were a great father and grandfather!

The next two pictures are two I love - it captures the mischievous smile we miss!

Mike and Todd - 1989

Mike on the day Todd and Cassie got married - May 19, 2009.

Todd and Meghan - Mike's pride and joy - Mike has been and still is a loving and supporting father to these two - the love the three of them have for one another is what makes today a special day!

Bill's grandparents - Granddad and Granny. The love Bill had for them and they had for him helped mold Bill into the person he is today - he loves his son David and grand-daughter Cora with every fiber in his body!

Uncle Mack also influenced Bill - he taught Bill to keep score for the Reds' games!!

Bill's father taught Bill how to take care of family. Not only did he take care of Bill, his brothers, and his mother, he also took care of Uncle Mack. You love your family and you take care of them!

Clyde at Uncle Mack's making sure all is well. Even though Uncle Mack moved out on his own, Clyde always went over to check on him.
A proud grandfather, Clyde, and grandmother, Bertha Marrs, with one of their two grandchildren - David - about 1988.

March 27, 2009 - Bill a first time grandfather, and David a first time father! Cora Ann has changed both of their lives forever!

May 24, 2009 - Cora's baby dedication - a proud father and grandfather - three generations of Hardins.

David - a proud father with his precious baby girl, Cora Ann! The tradition of a loving and caring father continues!

I haven't included pictures of all the great fathers in the family, mainly because I'm at Mom's without my picture collection. Therefore I want to say that I think the following fall in the "Great Fathers" category: Bill's brother Twink (alias Charles); my nephew JD; and John's grand - children's fathers - Nate, Brian, and Chad. You all are doing a great job - continue doing what you're doing and you will be the examples for the next generation of fathers!

A Year of Blessings and Sadness

Saturday - June 20, 2009

It has been almost a year since we started this blog. The main purpose was to let our family and friends in on how we were doing, and what we were doing since we had retired from teaching. Teaching consumed most of our lives for over 30 years. Bill and I both had worked during the summer to prepare for the upcoming year.

Why would we do this? There were always new programs being implemented, and we had to stay ahead of the game (and the kids!)! We went to conferences; presented at conferences; and even helped organize conferences. Just because you have gone to four years of college, gotten a degree in a specific field in education, it was never enough for those in charge - state and national level. Teachers are required to continue their education, update their technology, attend seminars and conferences during the school year and the summer!!!!

Once we retired, we didn't have to prepare for a new school year! This was a strange feeling. However, we have kept busy. With the passing of my father, I have been staying with Mom at least three days a week. Bill stays home and looks after Toby - or maybe Toby looks after him! :)

When the newness of being retired wore off, and we realized that we could do something other than preparing ourselves to be more efficient teachers - we actually started doing things we hadn't taken the time to do. We started to going to concerts! We've been to see Celtic Woman, Celtic Thunder, George Jones, Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, Lord of the Dance, Bob Dylan, Dave Matthews, and The Gospel Harmony Boys Concert in Huntington and Hillsdale, MI. There are others, but right now my mind is drawing a blank! :):)

We have a concert coming up tonight! Roy Clark, the co-host of HeeHaw is performing in Ashland. Bill and I are going. We are celebrating our 21st anniversary, and we are spending the evening with Roy! :):) Last year we saw George Jones on our anniversary!

Our first blog was about our 20th Anniversary trip - a two week stay at Kiawah Island in SC. We love the peace and tranquility that the island offers! It was a very relaxing two weeks for a special milestone in our lives. We hope to go back for another two weeks to celebrate another special occasion - when will that take place ???? Hmmm, we'll let you all know! :):)

This past year brought to us our first grandchild - Cora Ann Hardin! This was a wonderful blessing for the whole family! She is a precious baby girl whom we love more than anything! Sadly, we don't get to see her everyday since she lives in MI. The time we have spent with her has been memorable!

Other blessings have included the continued good health of Mom (age 89), the marriage of Todd and Cassie, and the continued recovery of Dink from his stroke this past February. We love the time we have been able to spend with family - David, Jeni, and Cora coming in for a visit; Lori, JD, and Darcie coming in for Todd and Cassie's wedding; and all the times the family gathers at Mom's.

We have had many sad moments the last year - we lost Aunt Olive, Aunt Frankie, and John. All the passings have been hard, but when John left to go home and be with Dad, it was one of the hardest things to say good-bye. It is part of life, and yes we know that God has a heavenly home waiting for all His children. But it is still hard to let go!

Bill and I have reconnected with family and friends on Facebook - yes we have become addicted!!! It has been so good to be able to talk with high school friends, family who lives away from here, and to walk down memory lane reliving some of those "good old days!" Now that we have retired - we have time to "play" on the computer instead of entering grades! :):)

We hope to visit David, Jeni, and Cora; have plans for a few more concerts; and take more opportunities to spend time with other family members and friends. There is also the plans for home improvement projects!!!

We are staying busy and are happy with being retired. We are going to celebrate our 21st anniversary by going out to eat and then on to see Roy Clark. It is going to be a very pleasant evening thanks to Mike, Debbie, Billy, and Jamie, who have taken over and spending time at Mom's so Bill and I can have this get-a-way for the evening!!! Thank you all and I love you!!!!

Last but not least I want to say thank you to Bill for always being there for me and understanding me and why I do what I do - even if it causes a lot of work for me. Let's have a great evening tonight - Hee Haw!!! :):)

21 Years Ago Today!

April, 2009 - Bill and I with our precious Cora Ann!

Cora's Baby Dedication - May 24, 2009

My Dad

Tuesday - June 16, 2009

Today is Dad's birthday. He would have been 88 years old. He has been gone for three and a half years. It seems like only yesterday I was able to talk to him and tell him I loved him. We always teased him about double dipping on his birthday because it was always close to Father's Day - some years his birthday and Father's Day were the same day!

I miss my dad so much. Meghan and I walked into his work shop the other day and she looked at me as said "it smells like Pappaw!" The smell of the wood was characteristic of him the last few years of his life. He was always working with wood - making something special for someone in the family or friends.

Dad was special in many ways. He never felt sorry for himself because of his injuries he suffered during WWII. He always found a way to overcome his "handicap" and never really considered himself disable! He was a survivor and a fighter. He came through many medical procedures that some felt he would never make it. They didn't know Dad the way we all did. With God's grace and the power of prayer he came back to his family many times.

Mike and I, as do Rhonda and the boys, tell Dink that he is just like Dad. With hard work and determination, he too will survive! Dad taught us to never give up; always treat you family and friends with respect; never make fun of anyone, especially those less fortunate than we were; he taught us the meaning of love, commitment, providing for your family, and what it meant to sacrifice so your family can have food, clothing, and a home. He was a hard worker, and very seldom would he take off from work. His work ethics soon became our work ethics. My brothers and I all worked (Mike still does) at our jobs to do the best job possible.

Some say that as the years go by, it gets easier to accept losing a loved one! I'm not sure of that - I miss Dad as much today as I did the day he passed away. When I take Mom to the cemetery, I always tell him I love him and that we all are trying to take of Mom as he would have us do. He was worried about her those last few weeks. The boys and I assured him that we would take care of her. It was then he told Mom it was time for him to go home. He knew his time here on earth was coming to an end. He would soon be going to his heavenly home. He was at peace when he left us - he knew where he was going and that God was waiting for him. He also knew that Mom would be alright. His job here was completed, and it was time for him to go Home.

Dad will always be missed, but the memories will always keep him alive here on earth for us all!
The following pictures are some I haven't used very often on the blog. They take Dad from his infancy to the way we like to remember him - wearing his suspenders and coming into the house after having worked in the wood shop on a special gift.

Dad - 1921

This had to be before he entered the service - his hair is combed back rather than being parted on the side! 1940

Camp Haan, California - 1942

The Layne brothers - Uncle Pete, Dad, Uncle Son, and Uncle Pak sitting below the their home place - probably on a Sunday afternoon! Mike is in front of Dad! 1955

One thing that Dad delighted in doing was aggravating Mom! You can see that in the next few pictures!

1970

1970

Dad wearing one of his set of work clothes - during the 70's!

One of the activities Dad love to do was talk on his "ham radio!" His call letters were K8LNM - he would talk with people from all across the United States as well as across the world - depending on the weather. He built his radios himself!

Another thing Dad loved to do was fish. It was an activity he could do with the whole family. This was taken on one of his trips to Canada with Dink and Mike!

Dad all dressed up to go to church - since that's my car I would estimate this picture being taken in 1982.

One of my favorite pictures of Dad - he and Mom went to Nagshead with Dink Rhonda, and the boys! 1996

When looking at this picture, I can smell the wood shavings!

I love my Dad, and I really do miss him very much.