"How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?"

Tuesday - June 30, 2009

When in Lexington a couple of weeks ago, we went to the Joseph Beth Bookstore. This is the bookstore of all bookstores. Huge would be mild when describing it. We browsed around the two floors of the store for over three hours. Ahhh, what we could have come with but didn’t. Hmmmm, maybe another trip to Lexington!

One of my purchases was a cd by Patty Loveless - “16 Biggest Hits." Most of the songs on the cd are ones I remember when "country" was the music I really listened too. I really love most types of music, but there was a time when country - traditional country that is - was my favorite. I have since broadened my favorites and don't listen to just one type. If anyone were to come and look through our cd's and records, one would wonder what type of music we really like. Not only do we have country cd's, but we also have classical, blues, rock, Christian, Celtic, and the list could go on and on! Depending on my "mood" will depend on what I will listen to. On my IPod I have them classified as "The Boys," The Girls," Gospel, Celtic, "Crying Songs," and variety! I even have nature sounds. Ohhh, the sound of the ocean hitting the beach – so relaxing!

On my way to Mom's today I decided to listen to the Patty Loveless cd - the last few days Bill and I had listened to "Chicago" and "The Moody Blues." Seemed like it was time for my ears to listen to a little country! :):) Song #5's chorus caught my attention. It started me thinking back at how many times I've said good-bye.

How can I help you
To say goodbye?
It's okay to hurt,
And it's okay to cry.

The song starts out talking about a little girl whose best friend was moving. Her mother tries to help - she hugs her and tells her it’s okay to cry. Have you ever had to say goodbye to a dear friend because of a move, or maybe because they were taken from this world at a young age? Either way, it causes pain and loneliness.

Another part of the song talks about the daughter's marriage breaking up. Again, pain, loneliness, and reflection on what could I have done differently to have not have the marriage be dissolved. Whether it's a daughter or son who has or is going through this, a mother's arms surrounds her child to comfort them.

The final verse refers to the mother leaving. Her time here on earth is over - the tears started flowing as I was driving towards my mother's house. Someday, this will be me. My mother has been so strong with all that has happened especially the last four years. We lost Dad in 2005; she had a stroke and heart attack a year later; John passed away in 2008; and most recently she lost two sisters, and Dink had a stroke and heart attack. One wonders sometimes how she can handle all this. God never puts more on our shoulders than we can bear. Mom has really broad shoulders.

Sittin' with Momma, alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, "I have to go now. My time here is over.”
And with her final words she tried to help me understand
Momma whispered softly, "Time will ease your pain.
Life's about changin,nothin' ever stays the same."

Life is about changes. Whether we like it or not, things do not and will not stay the same. My world felt as if it were coming to an end when Dad died. I loved him so much – he was the best father anyone could have asked for – he loved his family, friends, life, and most importantly Jesus Christ. Mom told Dad it was okay to go Home. One day she would join him, but for now she will stay and be there for their four children and eight grandchildren. Dad left this world peacefully, knowing Mom would be okay and that someday they would be together again!

I know there are many out there who has lost some one – by them moving away, separating, or by going to their Heavenly home – but try and remember it is “okay to cry, and time will ease the pain.” Time has eased the pain – it’s still there, the pain of losing not only Dad, but my twin John. There are days when all seems to be great, and then there are days when a song will cause the pain to resurface just like this song did for me! The tears I shed are just as heavy as the day that Dad and John died. I know that one day I will be able to see them again!

Remember: “ Life's about changin, nothin' ever stays the same."

"It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry!"

I started the post last night, but didn't (couldn't) finish it until today. Some ask why write something that's going to make you cry? I fill it as a means of therapy, writing down my feelings so that I will not hold it inside. Sharing my thoughts and what I have or am going through may help some else realize they are not and have not been the only one to go through life with out "saying goodbye." We all need to remember that when this happens we are never alone - just like the footprints in the sand - those footprints can be seen on the grass, sidewalk, and in the house if we look closely enough!

Thank you Patty Loveless for a song that reminds us "it's okay to cry!"