Caring - Sometimes Life Seems to Get in Our Way

July 6, 2011

It's one of those nights when sleep evades me! So many things going on in my mind, not necessarily troublesome things . . . just things! So I decided to check the blog, and began to wonder why I continue to write new post. One of the reasons we started it was so family and friends could keep up with us, and we could keep up with them. I guess FB has taken over that department now! :) No comments have been left on the blog sight since last September! I know many have left response on FB and that lets us know someone is reading about what's going on with us! Thank you for caring! :):)

Caring . . . . we all care strongly about God, family, friends, work, and on and on . . . . but do we always show others that we care?

I know God is with us as we take care of Mom. There are days it really hurts when watching her just sitting and not being able to do the things she had done her entire life - especially cooking and crocheting. We try to keep her active and occupied so she will feel good about what she has done for the day. She now uses a cane and/or walker when getting around. She loves her walker because it has a seat attached so that she can sit and rest if she gets tired when we are out and about. For someone who is 91, she get around pretty good and is sharp as a tack!

She reminds me of my grandparents as they got older. They always loved to see the family come in for a visit; or even a card or letter to say hello would put a smile on their face. I've discovered that Mom likes to see what comes in the mail on the chance that an unexpected card was sent to her by a loved one - family or friend - it doesn't matter. She loves when the kids come by and sees her; she loves the unexpected phone call of someone calling and checking on her; and oh she loves the unexpected cards. I hear all about who called, came by, or sent a card from her for days. It brings a smile to her face.

As I helped Mom go to bed tonight the tears flooded my eyes. Her frail body stooped over using a cane to help her walk to the bedroom she has slept in for more than 58 is moving slower today than it did a year ago. Yes it should because she is now 91. For more than 70 years she has worked helping take care of others - family and friends - and would still be doing that if her body would let her. It is really hard for her to "just sit" and let others do for her!

We love Mom so very much and are trying to help her know that she is loved, appreciated, and not forgotten. We try to keep her busy - no not plowing the fields - but watching us (supervising us) in whatever project we are working on at that time. We take her on "short drives" to visit family or to go to the store. Mom being the oldest member of the family will call (actually have us dial the number) to check on family whom she knows has been having a rough time with their health. She has always done that and still wants to check on them to make sure they are doing okay!

I know life has a way of keeping us all busy . . . . work, family, church . . . . but if you have an elderly member in your family, or a loved one who is sick or disabled . . . . give them a call; go by for a visit if possible; or use the Postal Service and send them a card. Let them know you still care and that you love them.

Most days Mom will sit in her recliner "watching" her shows . . .that is if she's not napping!

She loves to visit family when she is up to it . . . a "short drive" to Peach Creek and she was catching up with how Claude was doing!

A trip to a family reunion enabled her to catch up with the "Fowler" side of the family!

One of her favorite places to visit is Dink's . . .she wants to make sure her "oldest boy" is doing okay!!!!

Ben - 10 Days Old (Almost)

Thursday - June 30, 2011

I have finally taken a few moments out of my day to introduce Benjamine Monroe Hardin to you all! He made his appearance into this world on June 20, 2011. He will soon be ten days old! (Actually when 5:00 rolls around this evening he will officially be ten days old!) He weighed 8 lbs 12 oz; was 20 inches long; appears to have blond hair and is the cutest little fellow!!! I've chosen some pictures to share that I took, but some are borrowed from Ben's mother! No captions will be provided . . . .just look at them and come up with your own! :)

These are two of the most precious babies whom we love unconditionally! Our prayer is that their journey through life is smooth full of love for family, friends, and most importantly God! We love you Cora Ann and Benjamin Monroe!!!!

Granddad and Mammaw

Another Year Without You

June 13, 2011

Where have the years gone? It seems like only yesterday that we were all together. Yet there is another Father’s Day coming up in which we will be missing you! Life has not been the same since either one of you left. We have all tried to pick up the pieces and bravely go forward with life. There has been joy, laughter, celebrations, but also tears. There will always be that empty place at the table and that wish you were here sharing the good times with the rest of us! There is not a day that goes by that someone in the family, a friend, or someone who did not know you, but wishes they had after all the stories they’ve heard will mention your name. Laughter will follow; tears too; but reassurance that we will all be together some day in our Heavenly Home because we have a loving and caring God.

Dad and John, we all love you very much and even though we wish you were still here with us, we know that you are in a far better place than we. We feel you presence when we are all together; and we feel that same presence at times when we are alone. There is no doubt you are looking down on all of us.

There are some who for some reason do not understand the closeness we have as a family. Once we all married, then that closeness should have dissipated according to many. You see it on the news; you read about it in the papers; and you hear about it when out and about at how “estranged” many families are today in our society. We all make new friends; we all have many new people come into our lives; but as I’ve heard many times before – no one will love you like family! We love and accept you for who you are . . . . we may not approve of some of the choices you have made, but we still love you!

We Are Family!

Dad, you were a great teacher for all of us on family values. The way you worked so hard to provide for Mom and the four of us is an example that has molded the boys and me into being who we became as adults. You worked on days you could barely hold you head up and NEVER complained. You taught us how God wanted us to treat one another . . . oh yes, we had our differences, and sometimes that stern hand had to come to the front. I remember how upset you would become when you had to correct any of us, but I also know that you were guiding us onto the right path. Dad, you also taught us how to help take care of family, and that the sacrifices we make for them is but only one thing that God wants us to do.

One scripture comes to mind that tells us to care for our relatives is:
1 Timothy 5:8
8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Our role model - the best father ever!!!!!

John, you were a great provider and did care for Laurie and the kids. You worked hard just as you saw Dad work all those years. I know not only Dad, but Mom as well, were/are so proud of you and the man you became! They are so very proud of Dink and Mike and how they became the providers for their family too. I would be remiss to say that I believe they were/are proud of what I have done to help my family as well.

John followed Dad's example!

We know Mom comes from a caring family . . . one that was willing to take in an infant to care for even though they already had eleven children. This was a time when money was scarce; food was raised to feed the family all year; they experience the fallout of the Great Depression; and played active rolls in WW II. It was this caring attitude; love of family; and knowing that God wants us to care for one another that helped make them who we love and hoped we would be like as adults.

None of the paths we all have chosen has been easy. Dad and Mom’s path was not an easy one, but we all know that with the love they had for one another, and the presence of God in the home, that road was not as bumpy as it could have been!

Dad, you raised us to not be selfish, and that we need to care for those who can’t care for themselves as they use too. I pray that what you and Mom taught us will filter down to part the generations that follows us. Times have changed, but I pray the love for family has not!

You both would be so proud of your grandchildren!!! Sorry Dad, but John now has surpassed you with the number of grandchildren. John has nine adorable grandchildren, all of whom you both would have a blast with and would love to tease and play with and who would love you in return!

Some day we all will be together again, but until then, know we all love you and miss you so very much!

The family haas been extended with the DIL's and SIL along with all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Those who knew you and remember you miss you both too! Some are too young to remember or weren't born yet, however they are growing up with stories about the "Pappaw's!" We hope we make you proud!

I love you Dad and John . . . . very very much . . . . and I miss you every day! We are taking care of Mom who misses you both more than words will ever convey!

One, Two, Three . . . One Will Do!

Tuesday - May 24, 2011

Have you ever wished that there could be more than one of you? Some may say “Oh NO” please, not another one of you! However there are times when I do wish there was more than one of me so that I could accomplish and do all I “want” and “need” to do!

My family is amazing in that they do all to help take care of Mom. She doesn’t want to leave the comfort of her home, so we all pitch in and stay with her to help her. Her BP has been a problem (more than usual) here lately, but with the knowledge of the doctors and the guidance from God, it is being controlled. She has had to have a lot of blood work so that her kidney function can be monitored. It is a balancing act for the doctor to keep her BP down, to have her kidneys functioning the way they should, and for no water retention which can cause all sorts of problems. This is no easy task, and we pray daily for Mom’s continued health.

Mom is now using a new cane and a walker with wheels and a seat! She uses these for balance and to help prevent the danger of her falling and breaking a hip. The walker has allowed her to feel good about going shopping. If she gets tired, she has a seat which she use is she needs it! She has even found ways here at the house in which it comes in handy! :)

Bill and I have made a trip up North to see David, Jeni, and Cora. There were two weekends in which there were important things were going on for the family. David was being installed as the minister at FBC, and the ladies of the church were hosting a baby shower for Jeni. We were able to attend the installation service, but not the shower. It was to be a busy weekend for the little family with other activities going on, so I didn’t make it to the shower for which I was sadden. I took up a present for the “baby boy Hardin” which Cora helped her Mommy open it. We enjoyed our time with Cora and cherish each and every moment we can spend with this precious baby girl. Soon, there will be a baby brother for which we are all excited about meeting. He may make an appearance before his due date! We are praying for Jeni and him, and that he decides to wait until the “safe” week of 37 to make his appearance!

My date book looks like there is not a day free, but when looking closer, I see a few “off” days. Mom has had several doctors’ appointments – medical, heart, dermatologist, foot, and the oral surgeon. Bill and I also have doctors’ appointments on the schedule! Bill had to have an ultra sound on his thyroid as well as blood work. The results go to both his surgeon and the medical doctor. I only had to have blood work. I wonder what they do with four vials of blood. Oh, I know . . . when we go in to see the doctor he will tell all about “my levels” for which I probably still need to work on getting lower! Actually, all was well the last time I had blood work, so I am hoping for the same this time.

Bill’s blood work will tell about all his levels as well as how his thyroid is functioning! We are praying that all is well with the remaining thyroid and that no more surgery is needed! We will find out next week when Bill sees both the surgeon and our medical doctor.

Bill is the best . . . his understanding of my need to help Mom, and the support he gives me is what keeps me going. This is when I wish there was another me . . . one could stay home and the other could do all I need to do away from home! If I had a third me, then I could have a getaway to the beach . . . ahhh . . . I hear the waves and smell the ocean . . . . Peaceful!

Bill has decided we will do something special for our anniversary – June 20! We have plans to go to Cincinnati for a few days. This will be our first trip there in a couple of years! Naturally we will be going to a Reds’ game. We will get a chance to see the Reds play the Yankees!!!! Bill is hoping to see some of the “old timers” - Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra or Mickey Mantle - but I think he will be disappointed! :):) It will be a nice getaway! One in which we are both looking forward to!

Do I really want another me . . . actually no! God does not put more on us than we can handle. We as a family and as husband/wife have worked out a way that helps Mom and us as well! Some do not understand why we do what we do for our mother and think we need to hand her over for “strangers” to care for her. Sorry, that’s not how we do things. Mom cared for us, now we are returning the love she has given us since before we were born!

A verse that reminds me that I can do ALL I need to do:

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

It's Been Awhile . . . Happy Mother's Day

Sunday - May 8, 2011

It's been a while since I last contributed to the blog. Today is a special day for all who love and care for children . . . particularly those we call "mother!"

It’s Mother’s Day . . . . I should be in bed asleep, but sleep evades me for now. Why, some might ask . . . it is raining which contributes to the calming effect of the mind and body and appears to cast a spell upon us having us drift off to sleep . . . especially if you have a tin roof. But this night, sleep is not with me.

I have many things on my mind, most of which I have no control over their outcomes. I try and turn them all over to God. We as humans many times try to “help” the way things should be . . . or at least the way we think they should be . . . but God is the one who knows, and we should always trust Him. This is what I am doing, reflecting, praying, and turning them over to God. He knows what is on my heart.

I reminisce about Mother’s Day from the past. While my mother is celebrating her 63rd Mother’s Days, there are many out there who are celebrating their first. There are many who are struggling to get through the day because they have lost a child and/or mother; and others because they want to be a mother and for various reasons aren’t. May God be with all and comfort you as you watch with a sadden heart while others celebrate this day with their family.

I suppose one reason I am a little sad this year is that for the first time in fourteen years I am not receiving a card from Toby. To many he was “just a dog,” but to me he was my “babee!” Bill always got a card that was “from Toby”. He has been gone for nine months, and we still miss him so much.

I am fortunate that I have a step-son (David, Jeni, and Cora Ann) who has always sent me a card on Mother’s Day. This year was no exception. I also received a beautiful vase of tulips (and a box of chocolates). I love him and his family very much.

There are so many people in this world who do not have the family around them as I do . . . a family that loves you unconditionally. Some of these people were not blessed with children of their own, and many times feel inadequate as adults. Many children wonder why . . . “Why do I not have a mother (or father) who loves me?” To these, a special prayer is going up for you.

Cherish the family you have; be kind to all around you; remember all the good times; forgive and forget all the bad. In the end, God will want us to be forgiving, loving, and thankful for all around us.

May God bless all of you and your loved ones on this Mother’s Day!