Where's the Compassion?

Sunday - June 14, 2009

When was the last time you or a loved one had to visit the ER? Yesterday, my oldest brother who had suffered a severe stroke and heart-attack back on February 13, 2009 had to be taken to the ER via ambulance. From the test results that were done yesterday when he was first taken in, it appears he suffered "the flipping of a clot" which caused him to be confused and lose his eyesight. Even though this seemed to last about five minutes, it was scary and could have had much more severe results.

Dink has been going through very rigorous therapy, first at Health South and now as an out-patient at Saint Mary's Physical Therapy. It has not been easy, but the strides of accomplishment he has made is amazing. To those of us who saw him right after he had the stroke, he looks so good and is improving far above what was expected when he first started his therapy. He has the will and determination to do what it takes to improve.

How much he will regain, only God knows. We pray that He will continue to give Dink the strength and the will to continue doing as much as possible in his therapy. I hope he knows that we are all in his corner and are there to root him on with what he needs to do in his recovery. His biggest fan is Rhonda. Very seldom does she leave his side! They two of them even work on his exercises at home - Dink has "homework!" :)

While being checked in the ER, a nurse came in to do "paper work" and ask some "baseline" questions. Dink can answer the questions , but does need to be prompted in the beginning with the beginning syllable. The nurse was shooting the questions out as fast as she could, not giving Dink time to have these questions register in his mind. She apparently hadn't read his medical report indicating his ability to talk. This overwhelmed Dink. Rhonda calmly started to let the nurse know how to get Dink to answer the questions. The nurse turned on Rhonda and informed her to stay quiet that the patient had to answer the questions. The nurse would NOT listen to what Rhonda was trying to say. Rhonda left the room!

A friend of Rhonda's, who is also a registered nurse and in the room, informed the nurse on duty that she was very rude, and yes Rhonda was upset with just cause, and that this nurse was going to be reported! Once the nurse realized that Rhonda and her friend were bona fide registered nurses. The attitude changed immediately, but it was too late. Dink was upset and overwhelmed with the bombardment of questions and the attitude of this nurse!! The nurse did apologize as did the head nurse! The damage had already been done.

Whether it was Dink, another member of my family, a friend, or a stranger, the way some people are treated is inexcusable. The compassion needed for these jobs is slowly fading away! If the patient was being unruly, then maybe I could see the nurse may need to be a little more assertive!

What is so sad is that this nurse could give the entire group of ER nurses a bad reputation because of her lack of compassion and the willingness to see what was best for her patient! There are so many compassionate people out there in the medical field. We have met so many of them, especially when Dad was still living. This nurse may have been having a bad day, but Dink and Rhonda were having one that was worse! The nurses that helped with Mom were wonderful and did what was best for Mom as well as for the rest of the family!!!

Whether it's the medical field, the teaching field, or even the business field we should all remember the feelings of others. Using compassion and understanding can go a long way when working with others!

To this nurse, I'm sorry you had a bad day, but there was NO excuse for the way you treated my brother! We will forgive you because that's what God wants us to do, but please think before you start the process with another stroke victim!


To Dink, just think of this as another "rough" bump in the road! You have successfully crossed many of them, you can cross this one too! I love you Dink!!!!!

Has she changed in the Last 11 Weeks?

Wednesday - June 10, 2009

Today's posting is just one to show how much Cora Ann has grown! The first pictures shows her just after her birth, while the last one was taken over the weekend when in Akron! This posting is all about our beautiful Cora Ann!

I think she has gotten prettier!! How about you????????

Do to Others as You Would Have Them Do to You.

Sunday - June 7, 2009

9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7: 9 - 12

While growing up, the passage above was one that was taught to us not only in church, at home, but in school as well. Ahhh - "The Golden Rule!" I even remember the passage - "Do unto others as you would have them do to You" - was actually posted in the front of the room!! Thinking back to those times, I'm sure it was a way for the teacher to try and teach us to be kind to one another - for the most part, it worked!!!!!

I was rather young when the impact of what this passage meant hit me like a lead balloon. For some reason Dad had come to school to pick me up! Most of you who knew Dad may remember he walked with a limp due to his injuries from WWII. I overheard some kids from another class laughing and making fun of him! I was hurt and mad at the same time. That evening Dad asked me what was wrong. When I told him and Mom what had happened, they talked about this passage and explained that some kids (and grown-ups) don't always follow God's word! They also told me to remember how I felt when someone spoke mean about someone I loved! Never say or do anything towards another that would cause them pain as I had just experienced. Always remember how you would feel if the action or words being said were directed towards me - if they made me feel good then it was okay, but if they hurt or made me feel bad, then don't do it!

This passage has been a leading force behind how I have tried to treat my family, friends, co-workers, students, neighbors, and strangers. Sometimes, as the teacher, I had to rely on "hard love" tactics, but it was something I hoped would eventually help my students become a better person!

Lately, I have heard and seen on FB and MySpace things said about others that are actually mean and demeaning. The person(s) saying or writing these comments think they are being "cute!" These are adults - no longer children - and they should know better! Should someone do the same thing towards them, would they think it was cute and funny. Probably not!!!!!! I guess I'm just trying to figure out why those who have been brought up by "The Golden Rule" can be cruel!

Those students who made fun of my Dad don't know what an impact that made on my life. I am very defensive when it come to my family and all those I love! My father was made fun of; I was made fun of because I wore glasses; my brothers were made fun of because we lived on the wrong side of town when in high school; my brother-in-law will not eat out in public because people stare at him because of his disability; and Mom is embarrassed to go out in public because of the bruises on her arms due to the medication she takes! My brothers and I toughened up our skin and ignored the snide remarks; Mom wears long sleeves when she goes out in public; but my brother-in-law still won't eat out!

This post is not for a pity party, but maybe a way to make us all a little more conscious of what we say and do! Will it hurt some one if I say or do this? Brushing it off and thinking they will get over it is not always the best attitude - what is sad is that some of the comments that has upset me lately are about people (some of which are children) I don't even know! Let us all be a little more sensitive towards others and what we say and do! What would Jesus Do if he were here??
Hmmmmm -something to think about isn't it????

I am posting some pictures of some of those I am and have been very protective of and love very much! Even though I don't have a picture of all my in-laws, I love them just as much as all those pictured below!

This is a picture of myself and John. I was very protective of him when we were in school. Mom says I even jumped the first grade teacher because she jumped John!! The next year we were placed in different classrooms!! John loved sports. He endured a lot from others when playing high school sports. Had all the players put in a fourth of the effort John did, HHS would have had winning seasons every year!! Those who played were those who had parents who were financially able to help support the boosters!

Two other men in my life who endured many cruel remarks - my father and grandfather! They both turned their heads and went on with life to the best of their ability!

Now this person in my life may have brought on comments for obvious reasons!

Ahh - the same man, but with a "polished" look now!

Another picture with two important men (and Littlefoot) in my life!

Bill with his brothers - John and Twink - Bill and Twink are very protective of John (when he allows them to be!) :):)!

John with his niece Ashlea and nephew David

Those I love and want to protect have grown up!!!

Dad and John are in their heavenly home now; Dink is recuperating from a heart attack and stroke; Mike and I are trying our best to help Mom and be there for Dink, his family, as well as for John's family whom we love very, very much!

Many years ago they were children - now they are all adults! Oh the days when I was a protector!

One of the last pictures taken of Dad and Mom together - he had just gotten out of the hospital. This was taken at Beech Fork during Christmas 2004!

Mom today - we try to help her all we can - at 89 she is stillgoing strong!

I wanted to post this one because of the love and look of protection on Granddad's face as he holds our precious Cora Ann!

This one shows the "new" family with Granddad and Mammaw their for support!

Cora Ann has become the one in which we all hope and pray will never have to endure cruel remarks or things done towards her!

Food for thought straight from the Bible:

The Bible says, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

Does this sound like sarcasm?

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32.

Waiting and Waiting and Waiting

Thursday - June 4, 2009

Patience, according to a definition from the dictionary, is a good-natured tolerance of delay! Good-natured -hmmmmmmmm - I'm praying and trying to hold on to that good-natured feeling!

Two weeks ago Monday a truck hit the passenger door as Mom was getting ready to get out of the car. Thankfully she was not hurt! We had gone to the Post Office, and I had already turned the key to turn off the car. Whammmmm - the car jerked and I yelled "Mom!" She thought I was mad - I was scared!!! Guess it was a reaction to make sure she was okay.

The other driver and I exchanged insurance information, names, phone numbers, etc. Since he hit our car, you might assume that his insurance would take care of the damages. This was not to be!!! Apparently his insurance decided they would not pay for the damages to our car because it was on a parking lot!!!!!

We talked with our insurance agent and the plan of action was for us to go ahead and get the car repaired (with us paying the deductible) and then they will pursue a battle with the other company to get our money (and theirs) refunded. The agent said that this is the way - unfortunately - they have to deal with these type of claims!

Our car has been in the body shop since 8:00 Monday morning - and I'm still waiting for them to call to say it is ready to go!!!!! We were suppose to have gotten it back Tuesday afternoon!!! This was not to be!!!!

I have been here at Mom's since Friday afternoon. I usually stay with her from Friday to Sunday, and come back on Monday until Tuesday. Bill suggested that I just stay and come home Tuesday - meaning I would just spend an extra night with Mom. I have now spent three extra night, cleaned her loving room, front porch, hall way, and my bedroom from top to bottom! I'm a little tired as I write this post; a little aggravated; and trying to stay patient!

I have loved the time with Mom - but I'm ready to go home!!!! apparently the weather strip needed to complete the job is in transit from - who knows at this point! I am really trying to understand and stay patient, but as the the hours wind away so is my patience. It is all I can do to stay calm, patient, and upbeat. Praying helps - the car being fixed would even be better at this point!!!

Not only am I praying, but I found the following quote by John Quincy Adams which makes me stop and think that "yes, this too shall pass!"

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. ~John Quincy Adams

Hope you all have a great day!

13 years or 91 years?????

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Thirteen years ago this coming September, Bill and I added a very special "babee" to our family! Some people would say we are crazy about this "babee," and they would be correct! Do we love him more than the other members of the family? Hmmmmm - there might have been days we would say yes and other days we would have said no. It is not a matter of loving him more - we love our entire family very much - it is just that the "babee' loves us unconditionally. He holds no grudges - most days; nor does he pout - well occasionally he does; what ever we do or say is okay with him; and he acts as if were are the most important people in his life!

This "babee" is Toby! If you count each year of his life as "dog" years, he is 91 years old today! He came to us from Petland in Charleston after having traveled via plane from Missouri! He had only been in the pet shop for approximately 24 hours before we brought him home with us. He was a trembler! He was three months old when he became part of our family. David had Max, a Boston Terrier,and we loved him. Once they put Toby in my arms - there was NO WAY I could have them put him back in that cage!!!

He has given us all so much pleasure the last thirteen years. He helped us forget the problems of work when we would go out and play. He would give us both "lap" time which tend to calm not only him, but both of us as well.

He has caused us many concerns - two major surgeries at Ohio State, and running as fast as he could when he was given a little freedom from our back yard! He has been punished for some of his antics - time out in the utility room and/or a swat on the behind with a fly swat. Never has he been mistreated, unless you consider him not getting a treat each time he comes in from out side as being mistreated!

The following pictures are only a few of what we have of him. Toby's body is consumed with arthritis in all of his joint; he is losing his sight, and at times he appears to be losing his hearing. All of these symptoms we all would associate with most who are in their nineties!!!!

A Happy Babee

Keeping vigil at the door - one of his dozen trips outside during the day!

The next few pictures show Toby in his relaxed mode!

Staying close to Bill as he was sorting papers - Toby was chewing on his bone!

A pitiful Toby after his first surgery at Ohio State

Toby wore this cone for over three months after surgery on his right eye - he had a skin graft due to a puncture caused by a pine needle (we think)!

Toby's wearing a pumpkin out fit I use with my geese on the front porch - he was not amused!

Toby loved frolicking through the leaves after we had raked them into a nice pile - just like a kid!Toby is checking out the Christmas present - hmmm is it his???? Probably not - I think it was David's!!! :):)

Toby sitting amongst my collection of Santas!

We used this picture one year on our Christmas cards!

Toby loves his squeaky toys!

Since Toby is losing his sight, he can not see the Frisbee, so we have discovered another game he loves - we call it Toby soccer. He plays with a large "beach" ball and chasing it around the yard. He loves this game, but he can now only play it for a few minutes before tiring out!

A Happy "babee" again!

One of our favorite pictures of Toby - smiling for the camera!

Is Toby 13 or 91? Some days it's hard to tell! Happy Birthday Toby - you have been and still are a joy to us both! Yes we have another baby in the family whom we love very very much, but we will always love you very much too!

I am holding my "Baby" Cora Ann and my "Babee" Toby! I love them both - each in a special way!